Thank You for Such a Most Enlightening Post!
It occurs to me that one of the sublime pleasures of maintaining a blog—one to which I’m privy, and you, Dear Reader, ordinarily are not—is reading the wonderful messages caught by WordPress’s steel-trap spam filter. Much of it is beneath notice—unvarnished attempts to put a URL into the comments section, for instance, thereby driving up one’s Google ranking via a mechanism which, I realize as this sentence meanders toward incoherence, I really . . . don’t understand.
Then too, I get an awful lot of comments from a regular fcrp reader named, apparently, “Miley Cyrus Naked.” It’s usually hard to understand what his comment has to do with the post in question, but he always manages to make me feel icky.
The more interesting attempts to fly under the radar, however, manipulate English syntax and something like a colloquial voice to create a cheery bit of text that will sneak past the censor and get a fella’s “Viagra wholesale–cheap!” web site address embedded into my blog. Here, then, is a short typology of the kinds of spam I get—with some brief comments, and some tips for you other bloggers and would-be bloggers about how to spot the phonies!
First, there’s the spam that’s just not trying hard enough—sort of like a female impersonator with five-o’clock shadow:
Hi! I found your blog on Google. It’s really comprehensive and it helped me a lot.
Well, “Hi!” to you, too! You did not find my blog on Google; the only way I’d show up, rather than the lyrics to “Fake Plastic Trees,” would be if you searched “fake chinese rubber plant,” with quotation marks. In which case, Google would hardly have been responsible for turning you onto this marvelous lil’ world. Then, too, the comment just before this one in the queue was identical, with the word “Google” replaced with “Bing.” Besides: fcrp is certainly not “comprehensive,” and I can’t imagine it’s ever “helped” anyone. Thanks for the flattery, but even I’m not that vain.
Here’s another in that same vain—er, rather, vein—with the added frisson of what seems to be second-language interference:
What a release to discover a piece of paper that possibly will be at last in fact value reading! I’ve been looking for all-around about this subject except men and women now put waste posts, or brief worthless posts. I contain seen a couple vids on youtube but it’s now the equal as reading a good post.
OK, dude, I don’t know who you are: but let’s get a couple of things straight. There are plenty of places on the Internet to go where a guy might obtain “release”—so I’m told—but this ain’t one of them. This ain’t that kinda blog. Second, of course, fcrp really hopes to be long on attitude, but sort of short on hard info: I don’t really cover “subjects.” No one comes and thinks, “Ah: At last! The definitive treatment of [your subject here].” One can’t help but sympathize with this reader’s complaint that “men and women now put waste posts, or brief worthless posts”: word. Welcome to the internets. And as for “value reading”: certainly I do aim to please.
I’ve got a couple more, but let’s save ‘em for tomorrow?
wow, the artificial intelligence that virtually walks among us is so discriminating, diverse, and full of personality. almost…soulful. ‘i’ve been looking for all-around’! now there’s some value reading from one deep robot.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to appreciate poetry. While I do not pretend to any literary skill other than good spelling, you have inspired me to present my latest work.
SUBJECT LINES
GOOD NEWS
Find Maid Services in Your are
Daily Laughs in Your Inbox. These Jokes are too Funny.
Funds Delivery Notice
Let Your kids Realize their Potential – Teen Boot Camp
Your Cable Provider may be overcharging you Kathy
Your Check is Waiting
best selling drugs Propecia Levitra
Fly a Private Jet Kathy
Save on your energy bills and your taxes Kathy
Reglan Users – Lawsuit Information Update
DON’T BE A SCAM VICTIM!!
Reply.
Earn a Year of Free Diapers!
Get the Facts on Bathroom Remodeling
Lasik special starting at $299 per eye
No More Blind Dates… Single Latinos Inside.
Over 4,000 Heating Products Available Online
Because they’re Free, these Cell Phones are even Better.
Raise your male energy Kathy
Someone on Facebook may be looking for you
DO YOU NEED A LOAN?
Find Criminal Records, Court Records, Property Records and…